squareone

my daydreams & reality have intertwined again and I can’t remember what’s real and what’s not anymore. I never know if I’m in the lie or caught in between it. the day dream can be full and satisfied. with swirling country roads swerving and going nowhere in hazy cornfields with teenaged waste lands, or silent in city streets as the frost bites us as we greet winters eyes, or filled with night terrors and hautings on too loud music and tearyeyed fights. spiraling downfalls and set backs..of failed dreams and emptied futures. I doze off into another dream these past few weeks and oh its been so easy & simple. falling into it, not waking up. getting lost in retailed bliss with a long-legged beauty and pounding my heart out in long car rides, giving out love to the wrong people and missing that one boy with the irish tattoo more than ever. wanting to find that one that will sit and drink orange juice and watch the stars again. but not falling for the high school bullshit and monotony of this suburban universe. and in between all these car rides and photographs, the dreams been tainted. and it makes me hold on to the good moments so much more. the basslines, the hot coffee, the strobe lights, the holding hands and never letting go. but I have to surrender for a little bit. to feel and see again. and let life happen.