violet hills

The days have been summer scented with cali boys and college dreams. they've been slow and full with love and sun and violet hills of magnolia sweets. bike trails, trespassing, graffti and champagne replay in my mind. Its okay. Its okay.
I've lost it before, I've fallen hard.
I've given it my all. And have jumped that track up the treacherous hill. The one that seems so easy from the bottom but so hard to surpass half way up.
I want to get lost with you tonight. To stay in this security and warmth, to not fall or stumble.
But the hike is long, slow, treacherous.
You drove out of my life as quickly as you came in. Suave and smooth in summer sounds and stary nights. I laughed beside you while driving in our town. And now I feel guilty, shame for those laughs. I thought they meant so much more. I thought they meant something at all.
But today, you weren't there.
And the hill down is so much harder..slipping and stumbling. Falling into your gaze and hands and body. Falling into your sweet and soft words and secret embraces..Don't tell, don't tell. Don't leave.

But its as quick as a summers daydream. We've lost it, it's gone out the window and is heading down the curving streets behind my house. And the toxic love we once had is only a memory transparent in my mind.