The Sunshine Market

I've taken this week with a grain of salt. Letting it pull me in and try not to feel the pressure and heat of it all. Look where I've been, where we're going, what you've shown me. What do you do. What is it that something so short-lived and trivial can hold so much power over me? I think I've fallen for those laughs and moments. Those moments of true euphoric bliss and being completly imerged in someone else for once. It's the sunshine. The heats gotten to my head and all logic and reasoning has been brainwashed out of me. In between long car rides, Kings of Leon and silver rings, I've found the carefree heart and an emptiness knowing that it will all be gone. We can't go anywhere from here. We have futures and dreams and distances. But I can always hold onto the little bit of life I had, feeling the spring sun awake and the breeze of the nati' air while I followed the blossoming cherry blossoms with your hand in mine. I'll remeber the time where the apartment grew hot and heavy and filled my lungs with a giddyness and feeling that I've never felt. A power I've never held before.  A desire to feel-for once in my life. And I've succumed to that hole, I let it be filled. As freeing as it is, I'm scared. I'm scared to be full and confident and happy. I'm scared to love, to move on from here, to see where it all goes. I'm scared I'll be something you aren't. I'm scared I'll be something you didn't think I was. Another girl you fell for, she's not me. Shes loud and clumsy and gets lost in her diary and books far too often. She dreams and gets it mixed up with her reality. She cries when no one is watching and doesn't ask for help. She falls apart more than she lets on. She runs around town with no makeup on, letting her curly hair air dry out the window. I'm scared that someone could actually fall for this girl.

<3