life is beautiful...

My last therapy session my therapist asked me to write down some of the things I find beautiful in the next week...heres some of the little glimpses of beauty I wrote down:

-the sun shine hitting my window

-my dog staring at me

-the newly fallen snow spiraling down

-my little brother's laughter at night

-candle lit bathrooms

-the sound of my favorite song on the radio

-first date nervous jitters

-the taste of sweet sundaes after a long night

-being calm at a restraunt and enjoying it

-the raindrops on the streets downtown

-secret adventures with friends

-patience in a parking lot

-feeling of relief

-watching my classmates walk through caustrophobic hallways

-the smell of french vanilla & cinnamon in the mornings

-my cold hands being warmed by the shy boys

There's are some of the beauties I;ve encountered in the past week. My session today went really well, we talked about rediscovering life again. Feeling things for the first time since my nightmares have gone and living the life I've forgotten. I glowed and smiled as we listened to "somewhere over the rainbow" by Israel kamakawiwo'ole. We talked about living life and being healthy and leaving the burden that followed me for so many years behind. Feeling confident enough to realize that I can do the things I want, I can love the people I want and I can do anything I set my mind to. That I am worthy enough for someone to like me, to get good grades, to live.

After, I ran off to the gym and powered through a barbel strength class. It was an hour of pure bliss and I actually had the energy and mind to do so. Before, my days consisted of lethargic nods and barely getting by...living for the next time I could be with my ED and isolate myself from the world surronding me. Life is so much more than that, and I love getting to see a little bit of it everyday.